When You're Gone
by JoChryedLover
Summary: Has Jack really turned cold and heartless? Or are things different from what they really seem?


**A little fic that I wrote a while ago.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**xoxoxo**

* * *

><p>Gwen was alone in the hub. She was waiting. Waiting for Jack. No one had seen him all day. When she had entered the hub with Tosh, Owen and Ianto that morning, there had been no sign of him. There had been no note from him, and his Comms device, mobile phone and wrist strap had all been left in the hub. He had even left his trench coat on it's hanger. Gwen had taken control of the team, carrying on as normal, assigning them all jobs to do, to keep them busy. But now that she was alone, all of the worry which had been building up inside her came spilling out. Where was Jack? Why had he left the hub? What was he doing? Why had he left his treasured wrist strap? As she settled herself in his office, watching the CCTV like a hawk, in clear view of the lift and the cog door, Gwen drew Jack's trench coat around her shoulders and waited.<p>

Gwen jerked awake. She had dozed off. Checking the time, she saw that it was 1 am. She looked around the hub, focusing her attention on the lift which was descending into the hub. On the lift was Jack, his clothes covered in dirt. He staggered off the lift and into the hub as Gwen rushed out of his office to meet him. He looked up at her, smiling before collapsing in her arms. She half carried, half dragged him onto the sofa, covering him with his trench coat and fetching a glass of water, returning just as he regained consciousness. She tipped some of the water down his throat, sitting him up on the sofa.  
>"Gwen?"<br>Jack's voice was weak and shaky. He looked pale. His eyes weren't their usual bright blue.  
>"Jack, what happened?"<p>

"Jack, what happened?"  
>Jack looked around the empty hub.<br>"Where is everyone?"  
>"Jack, it's after 1 am...everyone's gone home," he looked at her, clearly confused. "You weren't in the hub when we came in this morning. You'd left everything, you were just gone. What happened?"<br>Jack attempted to stand, but fell against Gwen. She supported him as he made his way up to the office, and gently helped him into the chair. She took her usual place on his desk. There was silence for a few moments.  
>"Jack?"<br>In the light of the office, Gwen could see that his eyes were bloodshot. There was dirt in his hair, and his clothes were wet and muddy.  
>"I...I don't remember, Gwen. I don't remember anything. I was in the hub...It was morning, and I was waiting for everyone to come in. I...I heard a voice...The next thing I remember, it was dark, I was lying by the side of the river. I didn't have my coat, my headset, nothing. I must have passed out five or six times on my way back to the hub."<br>For the first time in a while, Gwen found herself worrying about what had happened to Jack. She knew he couldn't die, she knew he could take care of himself, but when he walked into the hub, not knowing where he was, hardly able to stand, she was afraid.  
>"I'll call Owen, see if he can help..."<br>Gwen reached for her mobile, but Jack stopped her.  
>"No. I don't want the others to know...not until I know what happened myself."<br>Gwen nodded, taking his hands in hers.  
>"Then I'll help as much as I can."<br>He smiled weakly up at her before passing out again...

Jack woke up and looked around him. Gwen had somehow managed to move him from the office down into his bedroom, and sitting glancing over to him with a nervous look on her face.  
>"What is it?"<br>Jack attempted to sit up, but, finding that the world spun when he attempted it, resigned himself to laying down.  
>"You...you were...muttering in your sleep."<br>"And?"  
>Gwen brought herself closer to him.<br>"You were saying...someone had to be punished...be taught a lesson...and then you said that the job had been done...he had been taken care of..."  
>Jack swallowed, attempting to remember something, anything, from either real life, or from his dream. But there was nothing. He sighed.<br>"And, there was something else..." Gwen paused. "I checked the CCTV cameras. And, it looks like, when you left the hub, you weren't alone...there was someone else with you..."  
>Jack buried his head in his hands. Why couldn't he remember any of this? That was what scared him the most. Gwen's mobile started to ring, making them both jump. She gave Jack an apologetic look before answering it.<br>"Rhys...yeah, I'm still at work...No, I don't think I'll be home..." Jack could tell she was getting annoyed, probably getting an earful from Rhys. "No, I don't know when I'll be home...This is my job, Rhys. Deal with it." She hung up without a goodbye. Before she could say anything, Jack cut in.  
>"Go home, Gwen. Be normal. I'll be fine."<br>"I can't just leave you..."  
>"I'll be fine," he repeated. "Go."<br>Gwen half nodded, kissing his cheek gently before leaving the hub.  
>Jack stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to go to sleep. But eventually, it overtook him. The mental and physical exhaustion combined eventually made Jack drift off into an uneasy sleep...<p>

Jack had drifted off into an uneasy sleep. His dreams were interrupted by flashes of what had happened to him when he had disappeared from the hub. He was standing by the side of the river, kicking a man who was lying on the ground. Next, he was standing laughing with another man...a man he knew he had seen somewhere before. Then, he saw a flash of Gwen's face. Finally, he saw himself falling to the ground as he collapsed on his way back to the hub.  
>Jack woke from his dream panting hard, in a cold sweat. He stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts flooded with the images he had just seen.<br>Why was he attacking that man?  
>Who was the man he was laughing with, and why was he familiar?<br>Why did he see Gwen's face?  
>What had happened to him on that lost day?<br>There were so many unanswered questions, and as Jack lay on his bed, the answers seemed further away than ever before.  
><em>When you left the hub, you weren't alone...<em>  
>Jack remembered Gwen's words to him. He wasn't alone...He pulled the laptop across to him and tapped into the CCTV from Monday night. He saw himself coming up from his living quarters into the main area of the hub. And Gwen had been right. He wasn't alone. Freezing the image, he zoomed into the stranger's face. And he didn't need any of Torchwood's fancy equipment to be able to find out who it was. Standing there beside him was a young Billis Manger.<p>

"Hello, Jack."  
>Jack looked up from the laptop to find himself staring into the face of Billis Manger. He started, placing the laptop to one side and flinging himself out of bed, pinning Billis to the wall.<br>"What did you do?"  
>Billis didn't try to push Jack away; he didn't try to resist. He simply smiled.<br>"I am going to tell you the truth. I infiltrated your mind; I made you leave the hub, I made you beat that man. I made you stand and laugh with me as he lay bleeding on the floor."  
>"Why?" Jack spat.<br>Billis shrugged.  
>"Because I could."<br>"Why did I keep seeing flashes of Gwen's face? Are you planning to do something to her? Because if you are, it stops here."  
>Billis laughed softly.<br>"It was not me who made you see her face. That was your own doing," Billis stood upright, not withdrawing his sight from Jack. "Tell me, who is the most important person to you in the whole of the Universe?"  
>"What?" Jack growled.<br>"It's a funny thing; when you take control of someone's mind, you see their thoughts; what they care about, who they love. And usually, you see several thoughts at once. But with you, I only ever saw one. Subconsciously, she was the only thing you thought of."  
>Jack swallowed, withdrawing his gaze from Billis.<br>"Ah, but you already knew that, didn't you? You try to hide it away, but somehow it always shines through. Your need to have her by your side. Your need to protect her at all costs. She's the thing which makes you human. It's because of her I lost control of you. As you thought of her subconsciously, I started to lose control. When she eventually surfaced to your conscious thoughts, I could no longer penetrate your mind."  
>"Why did you want to penetrate it in the first place?"<br>"Well, I couldn't exactly go getting my hands dirty now, could I? You were simply in the right place at the right time." Billis was extraordinarily calm, as though taking control of people's minds was a norm for him. Before Jack could do or say anything, Billis vanished in front of him. Jack punched the wall, making his way up to the main area of the hub. The Rift activity on Tosh's computer screen suggested that Billis had went to a completely different time zone.  
>"Damn..."<br>Jack's thoughts once again returned to Gwen. He had a lot to tell her...

Jack was up in his office. He watched his team at work, paying particular attention to Gwen. All of the things Billis had told him the previous night were swirling around in his head. _She's the thing which makes you human_. Jack couldn't deny that. Billis had told him that he, Jack, loved Gwen. Jack couldn't deny that, either. But as he looked at her, he was unsure of whether he could ever tell her. She was happy with Rhys. He had always told her to keep a hold on that life. He couldn't take it away from her. He looked up as Gwen entered the office.  
>"How are you today?"<br>Jack smiled.  
>"I'm fine."<br>Gwen closed the door and came over, sitting on the desk.  
>"Come on, Jack. I know you. You don't have to lie to me."<br>Jack raised an eyebrow.  
>"You know me?"<br>Gwen nodded, laughing.  
>"How's it going down there?"<br>"Not too bad...the others are wondering what happened to you...they're getting suspicious and anxious, Jack."  
>"I told you, I don't want to say anything yet...not until I'm clear about what happened myself."<br>Gwen nodded.  
>"OK. I'll keep quiet as well."<br>"Thank you."  
>Gwen smiled, leaning forwards and kissing his cheek before leaving the office. And that was when Jack knew. He loved Gwen Cooper. And he would do anything he had to do to fight for her.<p>

Jack grabbed his trench coat from its hanger and bounded down the stairs into the empty hub. He mounted onto the lift, and was just about to send it up when he heard a voice in his head.  
>"You can't do it, Jack."<br>He pulled out his gun and scanned the hub. It was empty, as it had been moments before.  
>"I can do what the hell I like!" Jack thought.<br>"You can't tell her you love her," Billis's voice rang through his head.  
>"I can, and I will!"<br>"And tear Rhys's world apart?"  
>"If that's what it takes, yes!"<br>Jack blocked him out, setting the lift into motion and rising into the night sky. Jack looked out across the bay, with the stars reflecting in the water, a slight breeze in the air. He loved this time of night, when everything was still and peaceful. Pulling his coat around him, he headed off in the direction of Gwen's flat, deciding to walk rather than drive in the SUV.  
>"Jack, think of the consequences of doing this!" Billis's voice rang through again.<br>"Such as? Come on, humor me!"  
>"Such as you being dependent on her for the rest of her life. What will you do once she's gone? You'll have to live on, alone. Could you really do it?"<br>"I'd rather have her for a brief time, for the rest of her life, than not at all!" Jack growled.  
>"Your curse is as bad as his...your Doctor...you share the same curse, watching everyone you love die around you while you live on. You have to ask yourself; can you afford to love her when you're eventually going to lose her?"<br>Jack swallowed. Those were the exact thoughts which had stopped him from allowing himself to love her before. Could he love her and lose her? Could he pick himself up and carry on, like the Doctor could? Could he face each day, knowing it could be the last day he shared with her? Looking up, he realised he had arrived at her flat. Taking a deep breath, he sat on the wall outside and thought. He thought of what it would be like to carry on as they were, both of them denying their true feelings, both of them lying to themselves. He then thought of what it would be like if he declared his love for her, if she left Rhys, if she became his. How much he would love her. How he would treasure her forever. Looking up into the night sky, he could swear he heard the churn of the engines of the TARDIS. And that was when the answer came to him. That was when he knew what he had to do...

Taking a deep breath, he jumped off the wall and bounded towards Gwen's front door, gathering his thoughts before pressing the buzzer.  
>Gwen was snuggled up on the sofa, a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. Rhys had already turned in for the night, and she was just watching the usual night time rubbish on TV. She jumped a little as the buzzer went off.<br>"Who the hell is this at this time of night!" She muttered to herself.  
>Sighing, she put her cup down and headed over to the phone.<br>"Yeah, hello? You do know what time it is, right?"  
>"Gwen, it's me," Jack's voice rang into her flat over the intercom.<br>"Jack? What are you doing here? You're not hurt again are you?"  
>"No," his voice crackled. "I just...I need to talk to you."<br>"At 12am? Couldn't it wait till morning?"  
>"No. Can you just come down? Please?"<br>Sighing, Gwen grabbed the duvet from the sofa, wrapping it around herself as she made her way down.  
>"This had better be good, Harkness," she muttered.<br>Opening the front door, she let Jack inside and they stood in the hallway.  
>"So what's so important you come all the way to my home at 12am to tell me?"<br>Jack swallowed, pulling his trench coat around himself.  
>"I wanted to tell you...you were right."<br>Gwen raised an eyebrow.  
>"I was?"<br>Jack nodded.  
>"When you said that you knew me...you were right. You do know me."<br>"You came all the way down here to tell me that?"  
>"Not just that..."<br>Jack swallowed again, preparing himself.  
>"So...?"<br>"I need you, Gwen."  
>"What? Oh, so I'm supposed to be at your beck and call, ready to spring into action when you decide that you need me?"<br>"No," Jack added quickly, "I...you were right...about everything..."  
>Gwen made to leave.<br>"Gwen..."  
>Jack grabbed hold of her and pushed her gently against the wall.<br>"Jack, get off me!"  
>"When you're not there, I die inside, Gwen. I look forward to seeing you each day because I know that I have a reason to carry on living. When you're gone at the end of the day, you're all I think about." Gwen struggled slightly in Jack's hold, but he carried on. "I know I told you to be normal; to keep a hold on your life with Rhys, but that was mainly for my sake...I knew that if I let myself get close to you, it would kill me to lose you. But none of that matters anymore, because I am close to you. I let myself get closer to you than I ever could have imagined. Everytime I say goodbye to you, it kills me." Gwen had started to relax a little. "What I'm trying to say, Gwen Cooper, is that I need you. I want you. I love you."<br>Jack shifted, leaning in towards her. Gwen stared into his eyes, getting lost in their blue-ness. They both closed their eyes, their lips almost touching...

Jack felt his lips touch Gwen's, and he felt like he had come home. He pulled himself closer to her, wrapping his trench coat around her, kissing her slowly, tenderly. She lost herself in him, snuggling up to him as close as she could, her duvet cover falling to the ground, her arms around Jack's waist, his body heat keeping her warm. They kissed for what felt like an eternity, when Gwen suddenly broke off.  
>"What is it?" Jack whispered in her ear.<br>"Rhys," Gwen swallowed.  
>"What about him?" Jack kissed along her neck. She couldn't help but move herself closer to his lips, smiling to herself. "Come back to the hub. Stay with me. Please."<br>"Rhys..." Gwen repeated.  
>"He can wait till morning," Jack moved onto the other side of her neck. "Please, Gwen. I need to be with you."<br>Gwen giggled. "I'm in my nightie."  
>"So you are," Jack grinned. "No funny business, I promise," he added, seeing Gwen's reproving look.<br>"OK," Gwen nodded. "Just..let me grab my coat."  
>Jack kissed her before she gathered up her duvet, heading back upstairs. Throwing the duvet down onto the sofa, Gwen grabbed her coat, slinging it around her shoulders, and quickly wrote Rhys a note, saying that she had to work. She picked up her keys and was about to leave the flat when Rhys walked out of the bedroom.<br>"Gwen?"  
>She swallowed, pulling her coat around herself.<br>"I, er, I have to work, Rhys..Jack called, something's been called in, and we have to sort it out..."  
>Rhys looked her up and down.<br>"And you have to sort it out in your nightie?"  
>Gwen swallowed, looking at the ground.<br>"I..."  
>"Who is he, Gwen?"<br>"What?"  
>"The man you're having an affair with. Who is he?"<br>Gwen slapped him.  
>"How dare you?"<br>Rhys grabbed hold of her roughly.  
>"Gwen, I'm not stupid, alright? I can work out when my girlfriend's having an affair!"<br>"Let go of me, you're hurting me!"  
>"You're not denying it, then?" Rhys shouted.<br>Downstairs, Jack could hear shouting coming from Gwen's flat. Sighing and rolling his eyes, he made his way up, drawing his coat around himself, he stood in the doorway, seeing Rhys shaking Gwen roughly. Jack sprung into the flat, marching over to Rhys, pulling him away from Gwen.  
>"Jack..."<br>Jack stood between Gwen and Rhys, squaring up to the latter.  
>"Just back off and leave her alone."<br>"Who the hell are you?"  
>"Captain Jack Harkness, and I don't like the way you're treating Gwen."<br>"She's having an affair!" Rhys bellowed.  
>"So that gives you the right to abuse her?"<br>"Jack, let's just go," Gwen placed a hand on his shoulder.  
>"Oh, so it's you, is it?" Rhys moved forwards, punching Jack square on the jaw. Jack fell back a little, and was about to hit Rhys back when Gwen stood between them.<br>"Enough, Jack. Leave it."  
>Jack looked at her, seeing the worry and pain in her eyes, and nodded, stepping back from Rhys.<br>"Give me a minute."  
>Jack nodded, leaving the flat and standing just outside the door. Gwen looked up at Rhys.<br>"I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen, and I never meant for you to find out like this."  
>"Yeah. Right."<br>Gwen placed her hand over his.  
>"I did love you. I still do, in my own way. I just..." she paused.<br>"You love Jack more." Rhys finished her sentence for her."  
>"I am sorry, Rhys."<br>He nodded, turning away.  
>"I'll send your stuff on. Just go."<br>Gwen stood for a moment, unsure of what to do, before fastening her coat, placing her keys down on the table. She walked to the door and took one last look at the flat, and Rhys, before stepping out and closing the door behind her, breaking down in Jack's arms.

Jack smiled slightly, breathing in the scent of Gwen's hair. He didn't say anything to her; he didn't need to. He just held her the way she needed to be held. He followed her lead, and still didn't speak when she led him downstairs, out onto the street, across Cardiff and into the hub. Once inside the hub, Jack took her hand and led her up into his office before descending into his personal quarters. He threw his own coat over a chair and sat on the bed. Gwen stood at the end of the room for a moment, before throwing her coat over his and curling up next to him. He put his arms around her, pulling her close, letting her know that he was there for her; that she was safe.  
>"I love you, Jack," Gwen whispered into his shoulder.<br>Jack tilted her head up, so that she was looking at him.  
>"I love you too, baby." Jack kissed her gently.<br>Gwen smiled slighty, looking up at Jack. She spotted a bruise forming where Rhys had hit him, and touched his face gently.  
>"Oh God. I'm sorry. Does it hurt?"<br>Jack grinned.  
>"Nah, I'm a big boy, I can take a punch every now and again...especially if it's for the woman I love."<br>Gwen nodded, shifting slightly and kissing Jack deeply, one hand on his chest, the other knotting his hair playfully. He kissed her back, stroking a hand across her stomach and holding her close to him.  
>"Promise me something?" Gwen asked, breaking the kiss.<br>"Anything you want, baby."  
>"Promise me you'll never leave me. Not again, I couldn't handle it."<br>Jack smiled, kissing her forehead.  
>"I promise. I should never have left you in the first place. I'll never leave you ever again."<br>Gwen nodded, smiling and entwining her fingers in Jack's, laying her head down on his chest. As Jack stroked her hair gently, she fell asleep against him, both of them perfectly happy now that they had each other.


End file.
